A forum I visit gets at east two topics about porn per day. They’re always something along the lines of:

“My boyfriend watches porn, should I be upset?”

or 

“I caught my bf watching porn!!111!!!!111!!!”

So I thought about it and I dunno – I never thought watching porn was cheating. Both HHRay and I watch porn, mostly separately, but sometimes together. It doesn’t bother me. I think of watching m/f porn as watching the action, not the person, if that makes any sense. When I watch it I think of the act of sex and what the two people are doing - I don’t think about the big hunk of a man with a giant weiner doing it to me. 

I have to be honest, though – one type of porn that HHRay seems to really like is lesbian and that bothers me. I’m not sure why, I’m sure as heck not going to ask him to stop because there’s nothing wrong with it per se. It just makes me uncomfortable. I’d much rather he watch male/female porn.

Another type of porn that I would be happier if he didn’t watch is the videos of one girl masterbating. I guess with this kind it’s like he’s thinking about that particular girl. As I said, in my mind in regular sex porn what the point of focus is is the sex. Whether or not he thinks of it the same way, I don’t know. The point is that female masterbation porn bothers me because there is obviously nothing else but that female to focus on.

Anyway, other than these two types of porn, I don’t mind porn-watching at all. Even with the above types, I don’t think that me being slightly uncomfortable with it indicates that it should stop. I’m uncomfortable with eating meat, too, but I won’t ask him to suddenly lay off the steak.

For anyone who feels like watching some porn right now, enjoy:

I’m reading confessions on this site. I think Baz would like this one:

I was banging this chick from behind and I pretended to cum on her by spitting on her back but I really shot my load into my hand. so when she turned around, I threw it in her face and yelled “Spider-man!”

Anyone who reads this blog regularly probably knows that I hold a bit of an interest in BDSM. Not so much in the “I want to make this my lifestyle!” sense, but in the “This is an interesting topic” sense.

So I signed up on a BDSM forum to get some more information about the subject and maybe talk to some people who have first hand experience with the lifestyle. I was surprised to get 2 private messages from people in Perth within 10 minutes of joining! They seem nice enough, but I was quick to say that I’m in a relationship. Both of them really gave me some great advice when it comes to BDSM, safety, the lifestyle, and even my relationship!

I think I’ll try to regularly post new things I learn about BDSM as I read more of this forum.

Tidbit #1: In general, dominant men who are in the BDSM lifestyle are not chauvinists.

I was reading a ‘Top 10 Signs You’re Too Good For Her’ list on AskMen.com and this was at number nine:

No.9 – She f***s like a porn star

Sure, we all have those fantasies, but if your woman is taking you into uncharted territory that has serious repercussions for personal safety, there’s a good chance you’re too good for her. No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general. Sure the sex will be mind-blowing, but you’ll never know where she’s been or even how she learned her maneuvers, which can only mean one thing…

Number nine is completely ridiculous. Women like creative sex *SHOCKER* just like men do. And heck yes, a woman who is amazing in bed is likely to have been with many guys. Or she could have explored a lot with one guy. Or maybe she just has a gift. A guy who is amazing in bed is likely to have been with many girls. Shall we just say EVERYONE who’s amazing in bed and isn’t a virgin isn’t good enough for us?

And ’serious problems with self-respect? Yeah, because enjoying our own bodies is such a disrespectful and low self esteem thing to do. Open up a bit, guys – women aren’t the sexually suppressed girls who are afraid to explore their own sexuality anymore. And a guy who thinks he’s “too good” for a woman who is good in bed is extremely insecure with himself and his own abilities/experience.

I just watched an episode of the Tyra Banks show on youtube, about a 22 year old woman who was selling her virginity for various reasons – money, freedom of choice, etc. She sounds like a very intelligent girl who has completed 4 years of college and hopes to go into marriage/relationship councelling and sex councelling with her sister.

So it got me thinking – is there something wrong with selling your body? In my opinion, no. Would I sell my virginity if I could? If I was mentally where I am now, I would consider it. I probably would not end up going through with it, but I would certainly not completely cross it off of the list of possibilities. If I was mentally where I was a few years ago, I would say no.

What we choose to do with our bodies should be our choice. If we want to get a million dollars for our virginity, it is nobody’s decision but our own. I think what this girl is doing is great – hopefully eventually there will be no reason for people like her to become world famous (or should I say infamous) for something like this. We should feel empowered to do what we want with ourselves.

Note: Any part of this piece may not be used for any purpose without linking to the source of the complete post from the location (web page or otherwise) where it is being used.

On Monday night I went to my first pickup-related talk. That’s right, in the 1 1/2 years I’ve been studying the seduction community as a hobby, I’ve never been to one of these. I figured I would probably be the only girl there, so dragged HHRay with me by offering to pay him with food and a massage. It was run by James from Charisma Arts for $15 per person.

The talk itself lasted for about 3 hours and I, personally, found it quite interesting for the most part. I wasn’t very fond of the picture-showing and the many, many sexual escapade stories, but that might just be because I’m a girl. Then again, even HHRay was sitting on my left with his mouth open in a permanent yawn and his fingers fiddling with one of my hair lackeys. And HHRay is usually a perv. Honey, if you’re reading this, please don’t be mad – you know it’s true.

I think that a better idea may have been for James to tell only the stories that make the biggest point for something. For example, tell the story of the crazy, freaky spanking sex that one of James’ students had with a girl to bring across the very real possibility of breaking boundaries when it comes to sex by being in control of the situation and manipulating a woman’s sensations and arousal.

So we heard stories, saw pictures, and got Kit-Kats as reward for good question answering skills (I didn’t get any, but totally could have if I wanted to >.>). Then came the fun part – all those with a Kit-Kat got to stand up with James and another guy (who looked very familiar, by the way) role playing as sexy females and the chocolate-high induced volunteers approaching them and starting conversations. Practice makes perfect and these guys actually received a lot of good advice about their approaches. James even took the time to actually get each person to approach several times and gave feedback on each one.

I was really happy that despite singling me out a few times for a female perspective on certain topics, he didn’t ask me to sit in as a girl in this exercise. I was treated as a paying customer, not Santa’s little helper.

What kind of made me feel a bit off is that after James found out that I have a blog to which I would probably report the events of the night, he didn’t seem too thrilled and asked me not to post about the event. That was totally fine, I didn’t mind just making a private post for my eyes only to use as a personal diary entry. But then, whether by coincidence or not, it began to seem that the talk became a bit more…woman-friendly? I am trying to think of a better word, but nothing that’s just right comes to mind. I hope that this was just my imagination and that the presence of a female did not influence the actual presentation – I came to hear a PU related talk the way everyone else hears them, not a talk that’s ‘watered down’ to seem more morally correct to a woman. Either way, I heard nothing that would conflict with my own views of what is acceptable and desirable when interacting with the opposite sex.

I very much liked James’ explanation of shit tests – he pointed out that most women do not test a man to act like bitches, but because they need to make sure that he is strong enough and powerful enough emotionally. I do this to HHRay – not on purpose, but subconsciously. It’s a way of keeping the man in check, of making sure that he does not let his control and dominance slip. I want to know that he is in control and knows what he’s doing. An overly needy/clingy man is not an attractive man.

I also agreed that sweet, kind, and caring does not equal needy in any sense of the word.

HHRay, who tends to look down on the seduction community and thinks of ‘Pickup Artists’ as a bunch of self proclaimed posers, also got something valuable from the presentation. Despite acting bored the entire way through, he later told me that he found some parts of the talk quite interesting and that this was not the type of presentation that he was expecting – the practices that James tended to condemn and look down on in his talk were the same things that HHRay himself was against.

While the talk was blatantly promoting James’ bootcamp (which I’m assuming was the whole point of the event), HHRay said that this did not seem like the complete scam that in his opinion most PU-related organizations revolve around – this one actually seemed to promote valid tools and methods of approaching women and starting successful relationships. Although he did say that he almost bust out laughing when he found out what all the terms like SOI, IOI, neg, etc. mean. He could not believe that such simple things that, in his mind, everyone already does naturally were given such complex terms and explanations. The talk made him a bit more curious about the community and he actually wants to go to the upcoming Real Social Dynamics presentation with me now.

Overall, I found it to be a valuable experience. I’m not sure if I thought it was this interesting because it was my first time going to one of these events or because there was actually interesting information on offer. I am sure it’s a mix of both – some of the guys who were present later said that they did not find it very helpful to them, but to each their own. I know I enjoyed it and for me it was well worth the money (even though I paid for both HHRay and myself).

Does Horny Goat Weed work? We shall find out. Another investigation I do so you don’t have to.

A recent conversation with someone made me want to reiterate the fact that girls like sex here one more time. And they/we DO. It doesn’t make us sluts or ‘easy’ or anything of the sort. If you need to get us drunk to have sex with us, this is really saying something about you and your ability to attract high quality women.

It’s normal for both men and women to like sex – whether they’re in a relatinoship or not. Promiscuous women have nothing to be ashamed of, nor does anyone else have the right to put them down for enjoying life to the fullest.

This sounds a bit hypocritical, coming from a girl who has never had a one night stand and never had the desire to do so, but a woman who has is not in any way ‘below’ one who hasn’t.