Someone just asked me what the fastest way ‘to get in my pants’ is. For the fourth time.

I figured it’d be an interesting thing for me to think about, but not answer directly. So instead I’ll write about why it would be very unlikely for this to happen.

I’m not going to say theres absolutely no way for a person to get in my pants. Anything is possible.

I am going to say that it is very, extremely, highly improbable that one would be able to do this, especially at this point in time.

Let’s take a look at the roadblocks that a person would run into if he/she was trying to get into my pants.

1) I am in an exclusive relationship of over 1 year and cheating is one of the highest, if not the highest, of my moral ‘no no’s. Sure, women are emotional creatures and morals can go flying out the window (just as they can with men). However, we have a brain too, you know. And this is one of those things that wouldn’t fly out of the window just like that. More like it would have to be dragged down by a 500-ton slab of rock.

2) Anyone who needs to ask me how to get into my pants probably wouldn’t be able to get into my pants.

3) If this person happens to be a female, her chances would be even lower as vaginas don’t really do it for me.

4) Sex with a person I’m not in an exclusive relationship with just doesn’t really appeal to me right now. It’s one of those things I have nothing against and promote for those who feel like they want to do it, but that I just don’t want to do at this point and didn’t want to do when I was single.

So, *you know who you are*, there’s something that’s kind of like an answer…but not really.

Lol.

HHRay: “Can you give me some earphones I can use at the LAN tonight?”
Me: “Sure, you can have my old iPod earphones.”
HHRay: “Aw, no, but the old iPod ones are crap, give me the new iPod ones.”
Me: “I can’t, I have to use them tonight.”
HHRay: “What for? You don’t use earphones with your laptop.”
Me: “When I watch porn I have to use earphones.”
HHRay: “Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll finish you off when I get back.”

…….when is he getting back already?

This is what I saw on my Google Analytics account page when checking traffic sources for yesterday and today. Someone has managed to find this site by Googling for “soup or sex”.

And then I thought – wow, good question. Which would I choose?

Some factors must be taken into consideration. For one, I have never liked soup. When I was little my mother had to pour the stuff down my throat by force. However, I have since been introduced to the deliciousness of canned soup and I do quite enjoy that variety, depending on the flavor. 

Let’s weigh up positives and negatives of both:

1) Soup can be eaten alone, sex requires two or more participants, which can sometimes be a hassle. (Soup +1)
2) Sex is enjoyable most of the time. Soup has to be specially prepared for me to like it (Sex +1)
3) Canned soup can be ready to eat in just several minutes. It may take a while to get both parties warmed up for sex. (Soup +1)
4) One can have soup the way they like it, without having to ask the other person to spank them. (Soup +1)

As we can see, soup got 3 points and sex got 1. However, I, as the one and only judge in this competition, would still pick sex over soup in most circumstances. 

So sex it is, because I say so. 

I just watched an episode of the Tyra Banks show on youtube, about a 22 year old woman who was selling her virginity for various reasons – money, freedom of choice, etc. She sounds like a very intelligent girl who has completed 4 years of college and hopes to go into marriage/relationship councelling and sex councelling with her sister.

So it got me thinking – is there something wrong with selling your body? In my opinion, no. Would I sell my virginity if I could? If I was mentally where I am now, I would consider it. I probably would not end up going through with it, but I would certainly not completely cross it off of the list of possibilities. If I was mentally where I was a few years ago, I would say no.

What we choose to do with our bodies should be our choice. If we want to get a million dollars for our virginity, it is nobody’s decision but our own. I think what this girl is doing is great – hopefully eventually there will be no reason for people like her to become world famous (or should I say infamous) for something like this. We should feel empowered to do what we want with ourselves.

I am reading about Total Power Exchange. It sounds interesting.

A TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationship, sometimes described as an absolute lifestyle d&s relationship … is a relationship in which no impediment to the exercise of the owner’s power is accepted … Such things as safewords, contracts, negotiated limits, and anything else which recognizes / acknowledges / formalizes limits on the owner’s power are inimical to TPE.

In other words, it makes use of blanket consent – once you agree to do it, you do it and there is no backing out or negotiating of things that you DO or DON’T want to do. I think that it would be very important, then, to discuss all limits openly before offering the blanket consent to one’s partner.

Some might think setting limits from the beginning would defeat the purpose. I don’t agree. Setting limits from the beginning assures that both people will be entering into a relationship that they are both happy with. I wouldn’t want a monogamous LTR to suddenly turn around and say: “Ha, I can go have sex with other women now and make you do it, too, because you agreed to Total Power Exchange.“

If he was not happy with an exclusive relationship to begin with, I would expect him to say so straight out and go on his way instead of staying in a relationship he did not enjoy and then taking advantage of a TPE situation.

Anyway, I haven’t done much reading into TPE and not sure what its similarities and differences to Taken in Hand are. I’ll have to look a bit more into it. I think it would definitely fall into a list of things I’d be interested in trying with the right partner, at least judging by my first impression of it.

Ok I’m sorry. The last video was inspirational and all, but then I found this:

Classic.

First, the title was just to grab your attention. Don’t get me wrong, the post actually is about rough sex, but saying that all women like it more isn’t to be taken as complete truth. I came across a question that intrigued me at GirlsAskGuys.com just a few minutes ago. A girl asked:

“I enjoy sex rough. I know that its not every girls preference. But I like my hair pulled and every part of my body teased. I have a minimum of four orgasms that way every time me and my boyfriend have sex. Do any guys prefer rougher sex? Are there any girls who do or don’t like rough sex?”

The question didn’t have a huge amount of replies – 3 answers from men and 4 from women. What came as a surprise to me is that men who replied seemed to like moderation and a mix of both more than the women! Ok, so I know that men being sex addicted animals who just want to bang someone’s head against the headboard repeatedly is cliche and happens to be a huge stereotype. I just never thought of women being more animalistic as men in the bedroom.

One man out of three agreed that: “rough kinky shit is awesome”.

Another one said: “Have fun and remember candles do tingle nice as well”

And yet another states: “Most of the time I like to be able to connect more than having it rough, but I do like it rough from time to time.”

What did women have to say on the subject?

1) “I always like it rough. I don’t think I could have it any other way!”

2) “At times, nice and gentle is fantastic and the best thing in the world, other times, I love it rough”

3) “Yeah I prefer rough sex all the time its awesome and feels much better”

4) “Hell yeah! I like that kind I mean don’t get me wrong nice and slow is great but sometimes most of the time I prefer it the other way around.”

Personally, I find myself agreeing with most of the women – rough is better. But really, variety is the spice of life.

Q: My boyfriend and I are about to have sex for the first time. I’m a virgin and he’s not. How much is it going to hurt?

A: There’s really no sure fire way to tell how much sex is going to hurt you for the first time. Every girl is different and the amount of pain depends on several things. Let’s take a look at some of them:

1) Hymen. The hymen is a thin piece of tissue that partly covers the entrance to your vagina. Depending on the thickness of this piece of tissue, it might hurt when it’s broken. The good news is that you may not even have a hymen anymore – a hymen can easily be broken during everyday activities such as bike riding, running, horseback riding, yoga, dance, etc. If you use tampons, there’s a good chance that your hymen is already gone. And if you’re on your period when it breaks you may not even know it’s gone.

2) Size. Some girls have larger vaginal openings, some have smaller ones. I used to know a girl who couldn’t use tampons because it just hurt too much to put one in. It also depends on the size of your partner’s penis. Obviously if he’s the size of a horse, you might just want to put a pillow over your face so the neighbors don’t hear your screams. Just kidding ;) But yeah…seriously…it really depends on the size of you and your partner. Which is why #3 is important:

3) Relax. If you’re nervous and scared, your muscles will tense up. The more you tense, the harder it’ll be for your boyfriend to get it in. And chances are if you’re scared you shouldn’t be doing it yet. Anyway, nervousness is expected and girls tend to tense up for the first time – it’s not unusual. You’ll have to consciously relax so it’ll be less painful for you and easier for him to fit.

4) Positioning. I’d say that the preferred position to do it for the first time would be missionary because it’s just so basic. However, some girls prefer to be on top for their first times because they have more sense of control. Of course, if you want to be able to tell your grandchildren about your steamy first time escapade that took place with you bending over the washing machine with one leg up in the air, you can do that too. Just don’t break anything.

I recently read a post on a seduction community forum, talking about women not knowing what they want. Actually, I’ve come across two of these topics on two separate forums on the same day. A lot of pickup artists seem to think that women really have no idea what they want – we say we don’t want to sleep around, yet have sex with the first jerk we see. We say we want a nice guy, yet are constantly involved with assholes, etc. Pickup artists have come to think that they know women better than women do. Obviously with my opinionated nature, I just had to put in my two cents and here it is:

The thing that has always annoyed me the most when dealing with the seduction community is having PUAs say to me “Women don’t know what they really want.” I have always hated hearing this from PUAs and rAFCs with a passion and still do.

“You’re a female, so you say you want one thing, but you really want something completely different. It’s just how you’re hard wired. It HAS to be this way, you don’t have a choice. I know what you want and you don’t because I’m an mPUA who has been studying you and your kind since so and so.”

Who is some random person who knows nothing about me except for my gender to tell me what I do or do not want?

Here’s how I’ve always thought of it. I noticed this in myself and other women I mention this to tend to agree.

There’s a difference between FEELING like doing something and WANTING to do it.

For example (made up scenario): sure, I may feel like dragging this guy at a club into the nearest corner and ripping his clothes off with my teeth at this given moment. But does that mean that I want to do so? No, of course not, because this guy happens to be my ex and I don’t rekindle flames with exes. I know I don’t want to get involved with this person again even though I may feel like jumping his bones. Wanting to do something involves following one’s emotions and one’s thoughts – not just one of the two.

It always seemed to me that the main idea behind seduction with the purpose of achieving an fclose (sex) is to invoke the feeling of arousal in the woman and then make her want to follow this feeling. Saying that she doesn’t know what she wants is incorrect as just because she feels like having sex doesn’t mean she’s going to throw herself at you – she may not want to because she has a brain and functioning thought processes which can hold many, many different personal reasons for her not to have sex with you.

So when the man encourages her to remove those inhibitions from what she’s thinking through his interaction with her and gets an fclose, he isn’t ‘discovering’ what the woman “really wants”. He’s just successfully encouraging her to change it.