I’m reading a book called Breaking the Rules by Catherine Townsend. It recounts her experiences as a sex/relationships columnist in the UK. One part of the book had this story:

“A crazy man with a semi-automatic gun burst into a crowded restaurant during the lunch rush and started shooting at people. He killed, like, twenty people. Anyway, after the SWAT team caught the guy, they were interviewing survivors, and this one woman, totally in shock, said that she was there with her fiance, and noticed that most of the men instinctively used their body to shield their wife and children. But when the cops came and everyone started making their escape, what did her man do? He used her as a human shield. He put his future wife between himself and the gunman.

There are two kinds of men in the world, the ones whose instinct is to protect you, and the ones who run for the hills at the first sign of trouble. Make sure you’re with the former.”

Pretty scary, huh? When I read this to HHAries and asked him what he would do, he said he’d instinctively get in front of a woman, but after the event he’d probably think “What the crap was I doing?”

Now, while that last part is a bit worrying, at least he’d still jump in front of me before he gets a chance to think, right? I thought about it, too, and said: “I wouldn’t use you as a human shield. I wouldn’t hide behind you.”

“Yes you would.” He said, “You’ve done it before.”

What? I asked him what he meant and he said: “When something happens that you’re unsure about and that could be dangerous, you always grab my arm and move behind me a bit. Not all the way, but you do hide halfway behind me until you see that it’s over.”

“Crap, I’m sorry. I didn’t even know,” I said.

“It’s ok, it’s an instinctive thing. You don’t think about it.”

So what does that make me? Some evil person who hides behind her boyfriend when a psycho killer is shooting us? And if I do it, how can I be so shocked and angry when I read about a guy doing that to his fiance?

There’s a huge difference between stepping behind someone in a fight and stepping behind someone when bullets are flying all over the place…right? In a fight HHAries would obviously be able to protect me, but a gun is different. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t use HHAries as a human shield if a gun was involved. I’d like to think that now that I know I’m doing it, I’ll be able to snap out of it if this actually happens. But I guess until it happens (and I hope it never does) I’ll never know.

Today I woke up at HHRay’s house and he said he could take me home after he eats lunch. I made sure this was OK and asked him several times throughout the time I was there – while helping him clean his backyard, making him and his brother drinks, going to the shop with him to buy our lunch, etc. – that he would definitely be able to take me home when we finished having lunch.

Lunch came and went and suddenly HHRay starts talking to his brother about how he’s going to have to switch the power off to install some power outlets in his brother’s room.

His brother said: “Are you going to install power outlets after you take Liza home or now?”
HHRay: “No, now.”
I said: “But you said you could take me home when we finished lunch, remember?”
HHRay: “I can’t, I promised I’d do this first.”

I had had enough. After asking him ten fricking times throughout the day if it was definitely OK for him to take me home straight after lunch and getting a ‘yes’ answer every single time, he’s telling me that he made a promise to install the power outlets way before and knew that he would have to do it, yet still kept telling me that yes, I’d go home after lunch.

I said: “Forget it, I’ll just make my own way home. I’ll see you later.” Got my stuff together, and started to leave. The last thing I heard as I was closing the door was a roaring “Oi!” aimed in my direction. I didn’t reply and started walking down the driveway.

A few seconds later he opens the door and says something along the lines of how selfish I’m being because he has other promises and I can’t expect him to always do things for me instead of other people. Of course I think it’s important for him to keep other promises, but why is it OK for him to make promises to me when he knows he has already promised someone he’d do something else? Why is it OK to break the promises to me and why is it OK to assure me that he would do something several times when he knows he can’t? Had he told me that he would still have to do something else after lunch, I would have either decided to wait longer or just started getting home on my own beforehand.

But hey, it’s me, right? Of course it’s ok to lie to me, it’s not like my time is important, right?

How much do you want to bet that he’ll pull the “But I drive you everywhere, you selfish person.” card later? Every time I try to tell him that he doesn’t have to drive me somewhere and that I’d rather get there on my own, he insists that he does. Of course I’m grateful for him giving me a lift, but pushing lifts onto me and then using it against me is low. And it doesn’t make it OK for him to make promises to me that he knows he won’t be able to keep. I really like him and all, but sometimes it honestly feels like he just doesn’t give a crap about anything he says to me – whether it be a false promise or a comment that really hurts my feelings.

The C Restaurant was definitely not a disappointment overall.
Some points we noticed since we got there:
- Everyone is either French or has learned to imitate the French accent very well.
- The view is amazing.
- You feel like a fish out of the water for the first few minutes because you’ve never been to any place quite this fancy before.
- The service is superb.

For $74 each person gets either an Entre and a main course or a main course and a dessert. On Saturdays, Sundays, and public holidays, however, there is a 15% surcharge – which brings  the meal to about $80-something overall plus drinks. Additional Entres or desserts are $15 each. You get free appetisers – these are delivered in one miniature shot glass per person and are the only ‘free’ food you will receive the whole night. 

The watermelon-y appetizer

Anyway, we got there at 7:30pm hoping to be just in time for the sunset. We were in time, alright, but unfortunately ended up on the side where we couldn’t see the sun just as the sunset struck! In fact, most of the tables were on this side as well so nobody in the restaurant caught the actual sunset. This is one thing that HHRay and I were very disappointed with – it would be one thing if we just happened to be seated on the side that didn’t catch the sunset, but everyone was arranged in a way that we were all on the wrong side of the setting sun!

View

The food, in my opinion, was heavenly. I ordered the Chicken Roulade and HHRay had the Beef Fillet and we didn’t have to wait long at all for our food to arrive – at perfect eating temperature! 

CHICKEN ROULADE: Parma wrapped chicken and brie roulade, roast courgette, mango and macadamia relish   

BEEF FILLET: Char grilled grass fed Tasmanian beef fillet, Tuscan bread salsa, artichoke, lemon emulsion 

The food looked so great that I completely forgot to take a photo and began to eat as soon as it arrived. But I later remembered – when the meal was half-finished.

My half-eaten Chicken Roulade

HHRay's half-eaten Beef Fillet

HHRay also got French-talked into a salad to go with his beef, which we didn’t end up even touching as our meals were so filling! The portions were just about perfect – with me feeling just a little bit too-full by the end.

The salad-"The One We Didn't Eat"

For dessert I had a completely awesome Vanilla Parfait and HHRay had the not-so-awesome Chocolate Mousse (you can see how the photo quality is getting worse and worse as it gets dark):

Vanilla Parfait

Half-munched Chocolate Mousse

We also got a Vienna coffee for myself and a Cappucino for HHRay, but I forgot to take photos (it was too dark by that time, anyway).

Overall, it was a very nice night and I would definitely love to visit the C Restaurant again for another special occasion.

HHRay and I are going to the C restaurant this Sunday. This will be our 2-year anniversary dinner (the actual anniversary is on Monday). I booked and requested a window table (who wants to pay over $80 for a meal in a rotating restaurant if you can’t even get a table near the view?) and they said “That should be possible, but we’ll have to see on the night.” So we’ll come in, ask them what table they’re seating us at and if it isn’t a window table we’ll leave and go to another – cheaper – restaurant.

What a day. NYE was spent at HHRay’s friend’s party. He convinced me to go to that one vs the other places I could have gone and for quite some time I regretted it. It was slow to pick up and there weren’t enough people. Then more people started showing up, HHRay and Diabetes Man got drunk, and I got pretty darn tipsy myself.

It’s strange how different a person can be when they’ve had a few drinks. Even someone you thought were really nice and a really great person can become a complete jerk. (And no, I’m not talking about HHRay).

After the party HHRay spent the night at my house. Poor guy has been feeling sick :(. I’ve been doing my best to take care of him and I had a bit of a hangover this morning as well, but nothing nearly as bad because I didn’t have that much to drink.

A forum I visit gets at east two topics about porn per day. They’re always something along the lines of:

“My boyfriend watches porn, should I be upset?”

or 

“I caught my bf watching porn!!111!!!!111!!!”

So I thought about it and I dunno – I never thought watching porn was cheating. Both HHRay and I watch porn, mostly separately, but sometimes together. It doesn’t bother me. I think of watching m/f porn as watching the action, not the person, if that makes any sense. When I watch it I think of the act of sex and what the two people are doing - I don’t think about the big hunk of a man with a giant weiner doing it to me. 

I have to be honest, though – one type of porn that HHRay seems to really like is lesbian and that bothers me. I’m not sure why, I’m sure as heck not going to ask him to stop because there’s nothing wrong with it per se. It just makes me uncomfortable. I’d much rather he watch male/female porn.

Another type of porn that I would be happier if he didn’t watch is the videos of one girl masterbating. I guess with this kind it’s like he’s thinking about that particular girl. As I said, in my mind in regular sex porn what the point of focus is is the sex. Whether or not he thinks of it the same way, I don’t know. The point is that female masterbation porn bothers me because there is obviously nothing else but that female to focus on.

Anyway, other than these two types of porn, I don’t mind porn-watching at all. Even with the above types, I don’t think that me being slightly uncomfortable with it indicates that it should stop. I’m uncomfortable with eating meat, too, but I won’t ask him to suddenly lay off the steak.

For anyone who feels like watching some porn right now, enjoy:

We had to get a new tire for the bike HHRay was giving me today. In the bike shop I took a look at some of the new bikes, asking the lady to show me the least expensive one. She showed me this nice looking bike that seemed a little too big for me. The conversation went like this when she got me to try getting on it:

Her: “But you look like you’ll be a tall girl, so that’s ok.”
Me: “I’m actually 20, I don’t think I’ll be growing any taller!”
Her: “Oh, wow, you look 16! There I was looking at your boyfriend and thinking ‘Cradle Snatcher’!”
Me: (LOLING) “He’s actually 19.”
Her: “Oh, so you’re the cradle snatcher then!”
Me: “I guess I am!” :D

She was hilarious xD

Ok, so the secret’s out. I wanted to get HHRay one of those massager seat covers for Christmas – not the crappy kind, the expensive good kind. I wanted it to be a surprise.

Well guess what? HHRay guessed what I wanted to get him. How did he guess? Apparently by my laugh. So last night we were in bed falling asleep, me cuddling into the crook of his arm as usual. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but somehow he said: “Maybe I should get you one of those massage beds/seat covers for Christmas” completely out of the blue!

I just laughed under my breath because it was appropraite for whatever conversation we were having.

Tonight he says that he knows what I’m getting him for Christmas – and he guessed right! A massager seat cover! When asked how he guessed, he said that there was “something different” about my laugh last night when he randomly mentioned them and that it’s been nagging at him. 

“You laughed like you normally would,” he said, “but there was something fishy about it.”

How the heck do you guess that someone’s getting you a massaging seat cover as a Christmas present because of their chuckle? Way to ruin a present!

I was engaged to be married to a guy I had known from high school, Brad E. I can’t remember how I found out. In the dream I don’t remember even dating him and suddenly someone tells me he proposed and I said yes. He was right there.

Me: “What? You proposed?”
Him: “Yup” *smile*
Me: “And I said yes?”
Him: “Yes”

I didn’t know what to do except go along with it. At this point HHRay didn’t come into the dream yet, as though he didn’t exist.

I supposed that it would be really cool to be married and Brad was a nice guy in the dream (he was nice in real life too, but I didn’t know him well)

It was Saturday, my wedding was at 2pm.We were at a river with my best friend, Brad E., and someone else. I had a ring with a flower on it that gave me +1 Speed. Brad tried to get it from me as he wanted to win, but it didn’t happen as the ring got lost or broke!

My friend said: “Oh my gosh we have to find that ring.”
So we spent hours looking for it. Her dad died on the river in the process but we didn’t seem to care.

In the end we’re in my friend’s car with Brad in the back.

Me: “So you really proposed and I said yes…”
Brad: “Yeah” *smiling*

I look at the watch, we’re five minutes late. Looking for the magical +1 Speed ring made us late and I don’t even have a dress or makeup! I decide that I can’t look at my future husband with no makeup! I start putting on concealer, but it’s too light for me so I have to smudge it tons to make the marks go away.

Me: *turning around and putting hand on thigh (he’s wearing jeans)* “You know I don’t want kids, right?”
Brad makes a funny face and goes: “Mm..I guess..”
Me: “It’s not the idea of kids, it’s the idea of giving birth. We can adopt.”
Brad makes a funny face, as if he doesn’t want to push the subject just then.
Me: “Well..I guess one day if it makes you REALLY happy I’d consider it.”

Then I remember HHRay. It’s as if his existense suddenly appeared in the dream. I think at this time I’m starting to kind of wake up and get in touch with out-of-dream reality.

I lean over to mumble to my friend: “What about HHRay?!”
Her: “Just tell him it’s over.”
Me: “…yeah, you’re right.”

I can’t help but feel uneasy. On the one hand I really want to get married and Brad is a really nice guy. But on the other I don’t even remember dating him and I’ve been dating HHRay for like two years.

My mind keeps going back and forth – marriage, HHRay, marriage, HHRay.
I think about how horrible HHRay would feel when I suddenly tell him I’m getting married – he doesn’t know I’m even involved with someone else. Heck, I didn’t know until I found out Brad proposed and I said yes!

I can’t decide.

Then I wake up.

So I couldn’t resist any longer and called HHRay about the election. It went a little like this:

“Hey, honey, guess what?”
“Hi, what?”
“I’m so excited, I can’t even talk properly.”
“What is it?”
“Guess!”
“C’mon, just tell me, what are you excited about?”
“Obama won! Isn’t that great?!”
“Oh, did he?”
“Yes! It’s so exciting! Finally!”
“So…how does this affect me…in…Australia?”
“oh…well…”
“Mm?”
“But it’s exciting! C’mon, you  have to admit that. He’s also the first black President!”
“Oh, that’s pretty interesting.”

Anyway, I think he gauged exactly how excited I was and tried to sound enthusiastic for me :P