I hate crying during movies, but lately I’ve been watching all these sad films that never fail to make my eyes water. I’m watching John Q. right now and this little boy is about to die of heart failure because he’s being released from the hospital as his parents can’t pay for the services.

I also hate thinking about how fragile our bodies really are. It makes me worry. Back to the movie.

Several months ago my school introduced Gardasil, the vaccine which was brought out by Merck to guard women against a few strains of the HPV virus, which can cause cervical cancer. That all sounds well and good, despite Merck being subject to quite a few lawsuits when it comes to their other dangerous vaccines.

When receiving the first dose I got sick minutes after – blacking out, dizziness, distorted hearing, etc. Of course, I realize that this could be due to many factors – not enough body mass, not eating anything that morning, etc. These are also the common side effects associated with the vaccine.

But when I later read about cases of girls becoming paralyzed, fainting, and dying of blood clots, I figured this was enough. I decided not to take the next two doses of the vaccine. Heck, I probably should’ve read about it before – about the lawsuits, the serious side effects, the lack of proper testing, the live cancer in the vaccine, the mercury, and the lack of actual proof that the Gardasil can prevent cervical cancer.

A couple of days ago HHRay asked me again to get the vaccine. I knew in my mind I wasn’t going to do it because I believe it’s dangerous and said this, but I promised him I’d think about it. So today I read more about Gardasil and came across this:

“VAERS is now receiving reports of loss of consciousness, seizures, arthritis and other neurological problems in young girls who have received the shot,”

– NVIC President Barbara Loe Fisher

Arthritis? I remember, just a week or so after getting the vaccine, my forearm feeling numb and it being painful to move my wrist. I even called HHRay about it because I got scared – it happened pretty suddenly. It stopped the morning after, so it could be a fluke. But then my left knee started to act up. At a dance recital that came shortly after the vaccine I almost fell off some stairs because pain shot through my knee and my leg buckled under me. It lasted the entire night, easing and getting worse and then easing again the entire time. At times it was painful to even walk. I still get this sharp pain sometimes, it goes away after a while, but both of my knees have gotten weaker since then. If I do exercise that requires me to bend my knees, I feel them hurting and have to stop after just a few repetitions. I don’t know if this is arthritis or not, I haven’t gotten it checked out, but it’s been getting a bit alarming for me as I now notice it more and more, especially in my left knee.

I don’t know if this is due to Gardasil or not, but it’s just another notch in the count of suspicions for me. I fully stand by my decision to not get the other two doses of this vaccine.

I had to get another medical exam for permanent residence today. I was getting on the bus to the city and turns out Croc was catching the same bus :o. He gave me his sandwich, which was really nice but really stupid of him. I shouldn’t have taken it. And then he went to the medical with me, which was really nice of him, too. He shouldn’t be doing all this for me, I can’t even cook properly.

The medical was scary. My appointment was at 10:30, I ended up having to wait like an extra 40 mins to an hour. The blood test was better than I expected because Croc was there. The X-Ray went by really fast.

Then Croc went to uni and I hung out in the city until about 3pm. We saw Transformers at 3:45. Really good movie.

Ok so we had our first dose of the cervical cancer vaccinations at school today. I have to say, I am very disappointed in how the preparation of the students, or should I say lack thereof, was conducted.

First of all, nothing whatsoever was given to the female students who have returned their filled in forms agreeing to have the shots. I mean I, personally, did NOT know that it was advisable to eat before the needle and was on the verge of fainting a few minutes after the dose was bruitally squirted into my defenceless arm. (Ok slight exaggeration, but I DID almost faint, including loss of vision and hearing, not being able to stand up straight, etc.)

Sure, sure, you say it’s ‘common sense’ to know these things. But isn’t it also common sense to know that when you order a hot cappuccino from McDonald’s, the liquid would be HOT? And yet they still put a very clear warning on the cup to remind you. What is a person more likely to know: that a freshly-ordered coffee is going to be hot or that they’re not supposed to have a vaccination on an empty stomach?

Of course, I admit, the sickness might have been the result of many factors, one including my lack of body fat, my body’s normal reactions to such things, etc. But I am positive that had I not gotten the needle on an empty stomach the effects would have at least been lessened. This is indicated by another case of a friend who, too, was not aware that it was advisable to eat something beforehand and had the same results as I did.

I mean for the love of puppies, look!

If we are reminded of something as elementary as the sharpness of a sign, why were we not reminded of a safe procedure to go through before being pumped with a possibly dangerous vaccine (which, by the way, is known to have caused headaches, fever, redness, and in a few cases in the U.S., even seizures).

In the future, I do hope that a document would be given to us, advising us on how to prepare for this kind of medical procedure, even if it just says: “Eat some fucking breakfast.”