Today I woke up at HHRay’s house and he said he could take me home after he eats lunch. I made sure this was OK and asked him several times throughout the time I was there – while helping him clean his backyard, making him and his brother drinks, going to the shop with him to buy our lunch, etc. – that he would definitely be able to take me home when we finished having lunch.

Lunch came and went and suddenly HHRay starts talking to his brother about how he’s going to have to switch the power off to install some power outlets in his brother’s room.

His brother said: “Are you going to install power outlets after you take Liza home or now?”
HHRay: “No, now.”
I said: “But you said you could take me home when we finished lunch, remember?”
HHRay: “I can’t, I promised I’d do this first.”

I had had enough. After asking him ten fricking times throughout the day if it was definitely OK for him to take me home straight after lunch and getting a ‘yes’ answer every single time, he’s telling me that he made a promise to install the power outlets way before and knew that he would have to do it, yet still kept telling me that yes, I’d go home after lunch.

I said: “Forget it, I’ll just make my own way home. I’ll see you later.” Got my stuff together, and started to leave. The last thing I heard as I was closing the door was a roaring “Oi!” aimed in my direction. I didn’t reply and started walking down the driveway.

A few seconds later he opens the door and says something along the lines of how selfish I’m being because he has other promises and I can’t expect him to always do things for me instead of other people. Of course I think it’s important for him to keep other promises, but why is it OK for him to make promises to me when he knows he has already promised someone he’d do something else? Why is it OK to break the promises to me and why is it OK to assure me that he would do something several times when he knows he can’t? Had he told me that he would still have to do something else after lunch, I would have either decided to wait longer or just started getting home on my own beforehand.

But hey, it’s me, right? Of course it’s ok to lie to me, it’s not like my time is important, right?

How much do you want to bet that he’ll pull the “But I drive you everywhere, you selfish person.” card later? Every time I try to tell him that he doesn’t have to drive me somewhere and that I’d rather get there on my own, he insists that he does. Of course I’m grateful for him giving me a lift, but pushing lifts onto me and then using it against me is low. And it doesn’t make it OK for him to make promises to me that he knows he won’t be able to keep. I really like him and all, but sometimes it honestly feels like he just doesn’t give a crap about anything he says to me – whether it be a false promise or a comment that really hurts my feelings.

My mother’s been on my case about getting a car for over a fricking year and now that I finally do what she says and get one she tells me that I can’t even keep it at the fricking house. Obviously I’ll still keep it at the house somewhere, even if it’s near the fricking road, but she infuriates me.

I have 15 minutes to go until my hair appointment. This really creepy thing happened when I got off the bus at the shopping center. A guy with a Cruiser bottle and a cigarette came up on the bus stop and said: “Hi, um, do you need an escort around the shopping centre?”
I politely said no and turned to go on my way. He wouldn’t stop yelling after me, going “Are you sure? Please? I’ll pay you. Escort?”

He smelled and had a dirty beard.

These have been a really crazy couple of days. I won’t go into great detail as it’s personal and is not mine to tell, but basically everything’s been up in the air. There’s controvercy over HHRay’s dog and I think the puppy should just go to a different home as he is likely to end up being abused if he stays (not by HHRay, if that’s what you’re thinking). HHRay’s had a lot on his plate these past days as to what to do with the puppy (he’s been keeping him safe in another location). I told him last night that whatever he decides to do, I’ll stand behind him. But I will never forgive myself if something happens to that dog.

I just read a forum post by a girl who could not understand why someone wasn’t replying to her SMS when she sent him messages saying ‘hi’. To get specific, she was messaging her ex-boyfriend who is now dating another girl and who said that he ‘wanted to stay friends’.

Rule 1 of sending SMS to which you expect a reply: Have a clear purpose for sending the message. Especially if you’re sending it to someone who isn’t under more of a perceived ‘obligation’ to reply, like a boyfriend.

“Hi.”
So…what? Hi? Is that worth wasting mobile phone credit on?

“Hi, do you happen to remember when Casey’s birthday is? Nobody seems to know, it’s pretty urgent! Thx”
That’s more like it.

There must be a reason for you to send them that message. Even if it’s something simple like:

“Hey, I was just thinking about that time we went to that cake shop a few months ago. I want to go there with a friend, do you remember the name?”

Much better than “Hey…I was just thinking about you.”

Of course, messages should be kept rather short due to their size limit, but that’s not an excuse to send crappy messages and then expect the other person to reply. If anything, go over the limit and waste the credit for 2 messages.

NLP Workbook Action Plan #2

1) Sit down and write at least 10 outcomes which you would like to achieve in the next week.
- Go to the gym at least twice
- Drink at least one glass of water per day
- Finish all Christmas shopping
- Walk Keeda once per day or more
- Clean my room
- Read at least one chapter of any book per day
- Be patient and relaxed
- Clean Ergo’s cage
- Apply Jojoba oil each day
- Try to help five different people in any way

2) Write down your outcomes every 6 months. Have at least two in each of the following groups:
- professional life
* Drive traffic to my site
* Take opportunities to monterize

- personal health
* Go to the gym consistently
* Drink at least one glass of water per day

- relationships
* Be patient with my partner
* Respect others’ opinions and views

- money
* Earn at least $5000 to spend on a car
* Put 70%-85% of each paycheck into savings

- self-development
* Complete NLP Workbook 
* Educate yourself about a wide variety of topics

- spiritual life
* Experience the one-ness of everything
* Accept others’ beliefs and remember that nobody’s religious views are wrong - they are simply taking a different path. 

3. Write down three HUGGs (Huge, Unbelievably Great Goals)
- Work from home
- Live on a small farm with two horses and a dog
- Start a successful program to change the world for the better

4. Watch the film The Shawshank Redemption on video even if you have seen it before. What was the key resource for the character played by Tim Robbins when we was in prison?
- IN PROGRESS 

5. Listen for the times when you sell yourself short, boast about your failures or tell other people that you can’t do something. They might believe it. Do you? During the course of one day count how many times you hear other people trying to convince you that they are incapable of something. Do you believe them?
- IN PROGRESS 

I was talking to someone about shaping a few days ago. It has just hit me that shaping is a form of operant conditioning. I’m not sure why I’ve never heard anyone point this out to me before, but it now seems so obvious. 

It’s like clicker training dogs and other animals. When the dog does something you like, you click and give it a treat. It then knows that if it does it again, it will get another click and a treat. This way you ‘mold’ their behaviour into whatever trick you want to do. I did this to teach Keeda to stand on her hind legs.

Shaping is the same. Minus the clicker. Just recognizing it has been like a sudden lightbulb going off in my head. It’s so easy. Sure, it may not be as easy with people as it is with dogs, but in the end we’re all animals and it’s all the same in theory.

In the morning before work I try to cram in as much sleep as possible. I get up, get ready as fast as I can, and then go back to bed for a few last minutes of sleep.

When I woke up this morning I was groggy and sleepy. I left HHRay’s house and walked to the bus stop, yawning the entire way there and trying to read my book on the go plus run in order to not be late at the same time – this bus sometimes comes up to five minutes early and I didn’t want to take any chances.

So when a white truck went past the bus stop on the other side of the street as I was waiting and honked, I looked up and mistook one of the guys in there for a friend of mine and waved a sleepy wave.

Well, turns out it wasn’t my friend. They circled the roundabout and stopped in front of the bus stop I was standing by. A tan blonde guy was at the wheel with a black-haired guy near him. They looked older than me, about mid-20s. Pretty cute, though! Anyway, the conversation went something like this:

Guy 1(Blonde hair): “Hi there, what’s your name?”
Me: “None of your business.” :)
Guy 1: “Oh really?”
Me: “Really.”
Guy 2 (Black hair): “Are you American?”
Me: “Yeah…well, not really. I’m Ukrainian, but I lived in the U.S. for 6 years.”
Guy 2: “You’re Ukrainian?”
Me *coming closer as there’s cars passing and you can’t hear properly*: “Yeah, originally Ukrainian.”
Guy 1: “Oh wow, how old are you?”
Me: “Twenty.”
Guy 2: “Yeah, right!”
Me: “I am!” I laugh
Guy 1: “Sure, sure”
Me: *shrug*
Guy 2: “You have a gorgeous smile.”
Me: “Thanks” :)
Guy 1: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “I do, actually, he lives right around here.”
Guy 1: “Ah ok, lucky guy!”
I grin: “Thanks”
Guy 1: “Pleasure to meet you, anyway!”
I decide that they’re nice enough to know my name: “I’m Liza.”
Guy 1: “Nice to meet you, Liza.”

Throughout the conversation I kept looking to make sure I wouldn’t miss the bus. Thankfully they drove off just as it was coming around the corner.

I normally ignore passing honking cars as while I don’t get annoyed or upset when they do it, I just get this feeling that it’s another pervert passing by. I guess me getting these guys confused with someone I know turned into a pretty good experience – they actually seemed like decent people. A bit cocky and very flirty, but not disgusting or in-your-face.

I got a Clicker for Keeda today. For those who don’t know about clicker training, it is a form of operant conditioning used in training various behaviors. Clickers can be used for just about any animal (with some variations, for example – dolphins are trained using the same method but using whistles instead of clicks) – fish, dogs, cats, rats, birds, etc.

Keeda and I did a form of clicker training when I first got her, but without a real clicker – I was using my tongue, which worked out fine but wasn’t quite as precise as I wanted. We have not done this in a while and I saw a lot of quite inspirational ways to train using the clicker on youtube and google yesterday that inspired me to try again!

So I went to Pet Magic in Gateways and got a clicker. When I got home, the first step was to ‘charge the clicker’ – meaning teach the dog that a click is associated with a treat and praise. This involves simply sitting down with the dog, clicking the clicker, and giving a treat. The dog does not have to do anything for this – she just learns that Click = treat.

What’s the point? The clicker is used to ‘mark’ exact behaviors that one wants the dog to learn. For example, when teaching the dog to sit, one clicks in the exact moment that the dog’s rump hits the floor. The dog then associates the click with something it did right – in this case touching its rump to the floor aka sitting!

We’ve started learning a trick already, but it will take quite a while to get the full hang of it. Keeda’s clicker is charged, meaning she associates the click with the treat, but I know I’ll have some slip-ups and mistakes as I just started really using this method. I’ll post a video of the trick when we’re done ;)

I was just thinking about people who bring cameras to clubs and bars and such. 

Why?

I mean really, why bring a camera to a club? What do you want, a blurry shot of you ’sexy dancing’ in the dark, that perfect shot of you vomiting in the toilet? Or perhaps one of those mirror shots where you’re posing in the mirror that’s vomit-splattered from the previous barfing example?

Is it to put up pictures of you having fun cause you’re so cool on the internet or to e-mail them around because you think it’ll make you look like you have hot friends who ‘woohoo, party all the time!’? 

I understand if you’re going out with a friend who’s in town or you’re visiting a new city/country/whatever and you want photos of the night. But come on, if it’s with regular friends at a regular club in the city – there is nothing special or ‘cool’ about that. There are countless other people in that club who are probably having more fun than you without their fingers permanently on the buttons of their digital cameras trying to catch that perfect ‘pouty lip’ moment to put on Facebook on Myspace.

You aren’t unique – you aren’t the prettiest – you aren’t the hottest if you’re a guy. You don’t look cool with alcohol spilled down your shirt. Heck, you don’t even look cool with one of those huge cocktail glasses with the twisty straws. Your dress or shirt probably isn’t anything special. And posting pictures of it all on a social networking site the next day just screams ‘try-hard’, especially if they’re poser-y bathroom shots. The most unique thing in that picture is either the toilet behind you or how completely shit-faced you look.