People say “it’s what’s on the inside that counts” or “it’s all about the personality” or “looks don’t matter”. Even I have admitted that looks are not as important as attraction in a man.

But there’s a catch. People who don’t take care of their looks are unattractive. I don’t care if you have a slightly crooked nose, I may still find you an attractive person. But I do not want to see curly nose hairs sticking out of that thing. 

The same goes for men and women. In fact, someone who may be considered conventionally good looking will still kill any attraction their looks may provide if they don’t care for themselves.

Some things to keep in mind when it comes to taking care of your body:

TEETH - yellow teeth are not attractive. You may have the straightest, most perfectly shaped teeth in the world. But if those pearly whites are actually pearly browns people will run for the hills. 

Tips: Brush your teeth twice daily and brush your tongue as well. Don’t forget mouthwash.

 

HAIR – Matted, dirty hair sends off a horrible impression. Wash it, darn it, wash your hair! Also, shave your damn legs if you’re a woman. And for both genders – pluck that fricking unibrow.

Tips: Washing your hair too often can actually get rid of essential oils that keep your hair clean and healthy. Washing every 2 to 3 days is recommended.

 

NAILS – If your fingernails and/or toenails are crusted with dirt and grime, if they’re yellow, if they appear raggedy and bitten, they will turn people off. You’d be surprised how much importance some people put on something as seemingly small as fingernails. It may not even be their appearance itself that turns people away – it’s the indication that you obviously don’t take care of them!

Tips: Stop biting your nails. There are products on the market which help people to break this bad habit, such as bad-tasting nail polish.

 

SKIN – Take care of your skin. If you’re a woman it’s easier to cover up bad skin using makeup. Most men do not wear makeup and pimply men are not attractive. Neither is overly dry or oily skin. I’m not saying it has to be perfect – I’m saying don’t let it look like you don’t give a crap about having healthy skin! And even if you wear makeup – bad skin will eventually catch up with you. And trust me, it’ll feel great to be able to go out without any makeup on and not have to worry about pimples or scabs. 

Tips: Invest in some pure Jojoba oil and apply a very small amount to your face daily. 

 

EARS – Is it that hard to pick up a cotton swab and clean out your ears once in a while? Seeing yellow gunk in that junk is really disgusting. 

Tips: Be careful not to stick those cotton swabs too far in your ears, they can cause damage!

 

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Q: Im 25 and have had sex with quite a few women. I recently read about the HPV STD and am now worried that my ex girlfriend may have been infected with this and passed it on to me. What should I do? Is this curable?

A: About 50% of men and women in the U.S. are infected with the HPV virus at some point in their lives. There are about 20 million Americans who are infected with a strand of HPV and more than 6 million become infected each year. Asymptomatic cases of HPV infection in men are not usually treated – heck, they’re often not even recognized.

Women are likely to not even know they have been infected with a strand of HPV – so what makes you think that your ex girlfriend had it? Did she consult a medical professional? Have a pap smear done? Anything? If a woman is infected with HPV, her immune system will beat it on its own in most cases. There are many strands of the HPV virus and most of them are Low Risk strands. It’s very common. In some cases, low risk strands of the HPV virus can lead to genital warts.

Some strands are High Risk strands and don’t get cleared by the immune system straight away – they can remain in the body for years and have an effect on cells that may cause cervical cancer. About 10% of women that have High Risk HPV on their cervix will develop long term infections that may turn into cancer over time.

So even if your girlfriend (or now ex girlfriend?) has High Risk HPV in her system that lingers for years as opposed to one of the low risk strands, the chances of her developing cancer are at 10%.

So anyway…the point is…you’re likely to have already been infected with a strand of HPV and cleared it if you’re a sexually active male. No medical tests can be undertaken to test for HPV in males and symptoms are often nonexistent. Sometimes, HPV can cause a man to develop genital warts.

Anyway, condoms are said to help when it comes to preventing HPV, but the only surefire way to do so is abstinence. As I said before, recognizing it is often impossible, so you will not be able to guarantee yourself sleeping only with women who are not infected with some strand of it.

Unless you know for a fact that your ex girlfriend went to a medical professional and was told she had the HPV virus in her system, your worries are likely to be based on nothing. And even if she did have the HPV virus, she is likely to have cleared it on her own. Look up some symptoms of HPV in males and if you notice any, go to a doctor. Or heck, better yet, instead of going to a blog to ask about possible cancer causing viruses, go to a doctor and ask them. They know stuff.

Q: Why aren’t nice guys ever good enough? If a guy is always around when you need him, if he’s always paying for things for you, holding doors open, ect. Do you ever wonder if he likes you? Maybe even loves you? Or are girls just taking advantage of him, because they expect it from him?

Please enlighten me! I’m just as curious as the next guy.

—————————–

A: Coincidentally, I just recently read a passage in an e-book sent by an acquaintance PUA that dealt with this. Here’s a simple explanation for you, and a lot of this is just information found in this book. Read The Blueprint by Owen Cook when it comes out.
When a guy comes who just throws himself at a woman, he isn’t displaying high value. And that’s what men and women ultimately care about – value. Because high value in a man signals to us that he is fit to reproduce. This doesn’t necessarily mean money or looks. It means social value. Women are like radars – we are better built and structured to detect subtle body language and cues in a man that let us know just how much value that man possesses. If he showers us with gifts to make us like him, we will know and we will not respect this. He’s trying to prove to us that he is good enough for us and that he deserves us. Women want a man who is confident that he doesn’t need to prove his value to anyone.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being NICE to a girl. There’s nothing wrong with giving a gift. But think and be HONEST with yourself here – do you give gifts to make her happy or do you do it in hopes of her growing more attached to you, of seeing how giving and generous YOU are? If it is the latter, you’re simply trying to make her like you and she knows it. She categorizes you with all the other men who do the same thing, conditioned by society to think in these ways.

You can be nice – but at the same time, you have to be a person she knows she can look to for protection and guidance. You have to be the alpha male, the dominant force in the relationship. She is the woman – she will nurture you and support you. But by being a ‘nice guy who can’t lead’, you are shedding your responsibility of leading onto her. You are displaying low value and an inability to protect her and her potential offspring. It’s subconscious.

Stop crawling at a girl’s feet because you want to prove yourself to her or to make her like you. It is not an attractive quality. If you give a gift, give a gift because you want to see her smile and make her happy – not to get her adoration in return.

Dex added this useful alternative when it comes to gift-giving as well:

A ‘reward’ system is another alternative – give her gifts because she deserves them and she’ll accept them more readily. And ‘deserving’ doesn’t mean she has to be in a threesome with you and her twin sister before you give her flowers, it can be something simple. Consider:

“Hey babe, here are some flowers because I love seeing you happy”
vs
“Hey babe, thanks for picking me up yesterday, here’s some flowers.”
or maybe even

“Hey babe, I decided you rock and so I got you some flowers”

Women fish for compliments. It’s what we do. We want to feel reminded of our strengths and reassured that we’re making an improvement on our weaknesses. But far too often we fish for compliments in the most obvious, blunt ways, that it isn’t really fishing anymore. It’s more like harpooning. So let’s look at some of the ways that simply aren’t subtle enough to remain graceful.

1) “Does this make me look fat?”
- Come on, I think we’ve tired this one out a long time ago. It’s like a brick to your man’s head.

2) “I just feel completely hideous compared to your new secretary.”
- Sure, he’ll give you a compliment. And then he’ll decide to take a closer look at the secretary.

3) “I think I’m too skinny.”
- Yeah, you don’t want reassurance on your skinny hotness at all.

4) “Why was that guy staring at me?” *giggle*
- I bet you don’t expect him to tell you it was because you had something in your teeth.

5) “So out of all the girls you dated, who was the prettiest?”
- Let me guess – are you going to throw a fit if he says it was Jessica…and your name isn’t Jessica?

Q: My boyfriend and I are about to have sex for the first time. I’m a virgin and he’s not. How much is it going to hurt?

A: There’s really no sure fire way to tell how much sex is going to hurt you for the first time. Every girl is different and the amount of pain depends on several things. Let’s take a look at some of them:

1) Hymen. The hymen is a thin piece of tissue that partly covers the entrance to your vagina. Depending on the thickness of this piece of tissue, it might hurt when it’s broken. The good news is that you may not even have a hymen anymore – a hymen can easily be broken during everyday activities such as bike riding, running, horseback riding, yoga, dance, etc. If you use tampons, there’s a good chance that your hymen is already gone. And if you’re on your period when it breaks you may not even know it’s gone.

2) Size. Some girls have larger vaginal openings, some have smaller ones. I used to know a girl who couldn’t use tampons because it just hurt too much to put one in. It also depends on the size of your partner’s penis. Obviously if he’s the size of a horse, you might just want to put a pillow over your face so the neighbors don’t hear your screams. Just kidding ;) But yeah…seriously…it really depends on the size of you and your partner. Which is why #3 is important:

3) Relax. If you’re nervous and scared, your muscles will tense up. The more you tense, the harder it’ll be for your boyfriend to get it in. And chances are if you’re scared you shouldn’t be doing it yet. Anyway, nervousness is expected and girls tend to tense up for the first time – it’s not unusual. You’ll have to consciously relax so it’ll be less painful for you and easier for him to fit.

4) Positioning. I’d say that the preferred position to do it for the first time would be missionary because it’s just so basic. However, some girls prefer to be on top for their first times because they have more sense of control. Of course, if you want to be able to tell your grandchildren about your steamy first time escapade that took place with you bending over the washing machine with one leg up in the air, you can do that too. Just don’t break anything.

I recently stumbled across a blog for men. A very nice blog, I may add. It presents TONS of great information for the modern man. Check out the blog at www.theworldofmodernmen.com if you wish.However, I ran across one particular post in this blog that I do not agree with. The post presents tips for men about how to not get caught when cheating on their wives. The tips are certainly valid and I’m sure they would work, but it’s the very first part of the post that set off red lights:

Some men are loyal, some are not. It’s that simple and I don’t think you can do much about it.

I disagree with the statement that men can’t do anything about being cheaters. If a man feels the uncontrollable urge to sleep around, why is he even married? Perhaps…

A) He isn’t READY for a committed relationship and is better off being single
B) His current romantic partner simply isn’t the right person for him – she does not fulfill his needs.

In the case of A, perhaps the best thing to do for both parties would be to split up – get a divorce. It would certainly be the better thing to do in my opinion – it would show that the man is decent enough to hold SOME respect for the woman he proposed to. The man wouldn’t be faced with the possible guilt of infidelity and at the same time, he will have shown some dignity to his wife by being open with her about his current inability to stay monogamous instead of keeping her in the dark and looking like a fool when she does find out.

In the case of B, the man can either give up on the relationship and split up as in A, or figure out what exactly it is that is missing from the relationship – which of his needs aren’t being fulfilled? He can then approach his wife in the way that he sees fit in an attempt to work together with her to fill those needs.

I’m sure some men will state: “But I love my wife. I don’t want to divorce her, I enjoy coming home to her. I just feel the need to sleep around – it’s just how I am.”

To those men I say – did she KNOW this is how you are when she married you? Did you LOVE her enough to tell her before she made a commitment to you? A huge part of love is honesty. If you love her, show her some respect and either be honest enough with her to leave her, be honest enough with her to perhaps ask her to consider an open relationship, or – and here’s an idea – show her some real love by not sleeping around. When you love a person, you don’t go behind their backs – not just with infidelity, but with anything that you know will hurt them. You don’t hurt people you love and you don’t lie to people you love. This, in my opinion, is not love. This is either option A or option B, as explained above.

Q: “Yesterday we got a dachshund mini and it almost 8 weeks old and it want go potty outside,how is the best and fastest way to get it to????”

A: You will have to watch it constantly until it learns to hold it. With a puppy, there’s bound to be accidents as their bladders are still pretty weak. Take him/her outside until it does its business 10 to 15 minutes after each meal. When you see it fidgeting, take it outside. Also, pick a word to use, like “potty” every time you put it in the grass. Eventually it will get to the point where all you’ll have to do is take it out, say “potty” and it will go. You will have to keep a VERY close eye on it at all times. I would highly recommend using a crate. Dogs usually hate soiling the spot where they sleep. So until it’s potty trained, keep it in a right-size crate with water available when you’re not in the room to keep an eye out. Go to a pet store and get a recommendation as to what size crate you’ll need for your puppy.

Be sure to stick with it. There WILL be accidents, but don’t simply give up and ALLOW your puppy to go inside at any time, puppies learn fast what they can and can’t get away with. If you catch it in the middle of the act, say “no” firmly, pick the puppy up, and take it outside to finish.

I think the right time for an individual to be married is after they’ve had their chance to experiment with the opposite sex and try out everything that they may have fantasized or thought about sexually. After they’ve dated several people at once, had threesomes, had casual sex, had a homosexual experience, whatever it is that they feel they may be curious about.

When those things are done and over with and the person has gotten all the experience in the areas they could have been wondering about, that person is ready to look for something more stable. It is when that person can honestly tell themselves that yes, they’ve tried what they wanted as many times as they wanted, when they don’t feel the thirst or curiosity to try more different things with more people and dated different types of people, when they don’t feel the urge to check out other options and when they can say: “yeah, been there, done that” that they are ready to settle down with one partner.

And obviously each of these will be different for each person. One person may not feel curious about multiple partners or checking out what else is out there while another may have a hungrier beast to feed when it comes to experimentation and experiences with the opposite sex.

So if you’re asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
– Linkin Park – Leave Out All The Rest

It’s important to us to forgive. I’ve always been VERY horrible at holding grudges. I’ll be seething about something someone did one minute and decide that it wasn’t such a big deal the next. However, there are only so many times you can forgive someone for the same thing. In my case, it’s my family. I’ve been on bad terms with them for years. I haven’t spoken to my father in over two years, to my sister in about a year, and just now started speaking again to my mom. I’d rather not get into the details just now, but, in my opinion, I have legitimate reasons to hold a grudge against them. I can’t keep forgiving the same things over and over.

So while forgiveness is perhaps one of the most important things we can ever learn, we also have to understand that we can’t forgive everyone all the time. It’s like abuse – they do it once and you let it slide. They do it a second time and you think: “He/she didn’t mean it.” When does it get to be too much?

So forgive your friends, forgive your family, forgive them for things you know are in the past. Forgive people as much as you can and love them as much as you’re capable of loving them. But don’t allow yourself to be treated like a doormat. Don’t forgive people for repeating the same mistakes over and over again, especially if they have to do with any form of abuse, and try not to repeat your own mistakes either.

Each person has a different limit as to how much they can take. Forgiveness is important, but don’t lose sight of your own physical and mental health. There has to be a last straw somewhere.

Ok so I was thinking about some of my friends and their goings-on today, I won’t give out names, and one thought led to another:

Life would be so much less stressful if we all just lived with no expectations. Think about it. We walk around most days expecting something, looking forward to it. Nothing’s wrong with looking forward to that party or that phone call or whatever, but we tend to almost plan out how it’ll go. If it’s something we’re really waiting for with great excitement/anticipation, we plan out how we’re going to dress, act, speak, etc. That isn’t so bad either, right? BUT just pay attention next time you’re looking forward to an event. Do you ever find yourself almost planning out what OTHER people are going to say and how they’re going to act as well? We set ourselves up in an imaginary situation and then EXPECT that party/phone call/whatever to follow your plan in some way.

But in the end, what if it doesn’t? What if once you get to know someone you start expecting something of them because you know them better than you did when you just met. To me, I find it much simpler to communicate with someone when I’ve just met them because I don’t know anything about them. I don’t expect them to say something because there is nothing to base the response off of. Without expectations, there is no stress of waiting for them to do or say something. They don’t owe me anything, I don’t owe them anything, it’s nice.

When we get to know that person and enter into a romantic relationship or close friendship or even just become their co-worker or something, we kind of begin to almost figure them out before the situation even comes along. Stuff like:
“Why did she say that?”
“Why isn’t he replying?”
“She’s supposed to talk first.”
“He’s supposed to at least say bye.”
“Where the Hell did that just come from, they sound like a totally different person than usual.”

Well screw the usual! The usual doesn’t exist. People change, situations change subtly, different things make people tick, the different responses that you could get from that same person are infinite. You can NEVER know everything about someone or how they will react.

So how about if we stop waiting for someone to make that first move or getting anxious when they don’t say “Hi” as soon as they log on AIM or MSN or Yahoo. And let’s stop thinking of the possibilities of WHY that person didn’t say good-bye or ignored you or whatever. The reality could be much better or worse than what we expect it to be. Instead, just think about the present and know that you can ask them about it next time you talk to them in the afternoon or the morning or a week from now, whatever. And if a situation doesn’t go as planned, STOP PLANNING THEM!

Instead of:

“I’m going to the movies with him tonight. Great. We can talk about so and so and then he should say so and so. And he should pay for me. He might try to make a move, in which case I will etc etc etc etc. And when he does make a move I’ll blah blah blah blah, so then we’ll start dating and have babies!!!!”

Try something along the lines of:

“I’m going to the movies with him tonight. Great. I’ll bring money because I’m an independent person who does not expect someone to pay for me, we’ll see how it goes.”